Stop....yellow time

Sino Wedding
I got the idea from an SMS that I got sent from one of my friends in Milan. People think kiwis are a bit racist. I guess they're right, but anyone who has spent any time with Indians, French or Italians knows that they are the kings of racial slurs. This particular message was signed "Buon divertimento con i gialli", which means "Have fun with the yellow dudes!".

Nigel is on his first wife and second marriage. His wife, Xinyu, is studying in New Zealand, so the first wedding was in Wellington on February somewhere amongst lots of pungas. Her parents came down from China for the ceremony, but I wasn't able to make it - one month too late. I came to the Chinese one instead. It's always interesting to hear what sort of craziness people got up to for their wedding ceremonies. Jo and John (Nigel's sister and bro in law) got married at the base of mount cook. You can get married at the depths of the ocean at bali:

http://www.bidp-balidiving.com/eng/underwater-wedding-package/

And there are plenty of websites you can get married to the tune of wind rushing past your ears as you hurtle to the ground in a skydive freefall.

I arrived in Shanghai on Friday afternoon at Pudong airport. I was convinced when I was looking for the Maglev train at the airport that someone put up the sign to the train station before the train was completed. All I could find at the train station were a bunch of "luxury boutiques" and no tracks and definitely no train. The traffic is pretty chaotic here in Shanghai but luckily the taxis are dirt cheap. An hour and a half cab ride from the airport to the train station cost about 15 euro.

One of the things that doesn't really dawn on you until you actually have to do it, is what order from a chinese menu without pictures and an english-speaking waiter. It's all surprises when the dish comes out. Even an "english speaking bystander" to help isn't completely foolproof. For example, I walked up to a group of girls close to the counter...

Me: "Do you speak english"
Them: Nods head
Me: "Which one on the menu is beef and noodles"?
Them: Points to something on the menu in crpytic chinese characters.
Them: Chinese Giggles
Me: Sits down hanging out for some spicy beef noodles
Food: Out comes chicken with rice
me: damn, foiled!

One lady who bumped in to that night was clearly eager to improve her english showed me a piece of paper with a bunch of sayings. She wanted me to pronounce the one that read: "It's none of your business". I don't think this was the best way to spend her english learning energy, especially if she was trying to make some sales on selling hotel rooms.

It reminds me of this Japanese aerobics video, which is a mix of english lessons and aerobics:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sslnNEmM1XM

The wedding in Wuxi (pronounced "Woo she") was pretty interesting but pretty brief. The ceremony started in hotel conference hall just after midday and barely 5 people were still there after lunch had finished at 1.30. The ceremony was held in traditional Chinese style and Nigel busting out a speech in Chinese. The bride/groom's table went around each of the 30 tables doing toasts to the guests with a "gambay" (read: see you at the bottom) at each table.

The following day we headed to Taihu, which is a short way out of Wuxi. It's a really massive lake that serves many towns and cities around the area, including Shanghai. But by looking at the incredibly green water:



you wouldn't think it's used for drinking. Apparently in a few years' time, they are going to have all the algae gone from the lake. With effective Chinese control, they are going to close all the businesses down from the lakeside if they don't meet certain regulations within a certain date. Although drinking water catchment is a huge way upstream, so that would explain why the water I was drinking there didn't give me the shits for days afterwards. I think I have bowels of steel now.

Fairy island is in the middle of the lake, a short fairy (sorry, bad pun) ride from the lakeside.



It's a nice island with a big buddha temple stuck on the top of a hill. It's a pretty holy place, with a massive happy buddha dude inside. As a side note, I've always wondered if Budda suffered from heart complications. I doubt he cared much about the 5+ a day or 98% fat-free food cause he's a big boy. Since the Chinese are mad about fortune telling, one of the ways of divining your future is to jiggle a container of 30-40 sticks until one pops out the top. Then they look up a book of fortunes and for a small price, they give you a old worn looking piece of paper with the excerpt about your love and money life for the day. The buddha also likes people to money in to his hands - he smiles even more!

The last day I managed to sneak in a quick shop for some old Mao TseTung knick knacks and random communist paraphernalia. Nice and cheap (compared to what I had to pay for a red book in German and in English in Shanghai) and red.

That was a bit of Shanghai and Wuxi. Tune in next time for the story of how I get a ride with some super dodgy guys from Wuxi to Shanghai black car with heavily tinted windows. The destination was a crowded intersection in a city that I hoped was Shanghai.